Because I Love You
by dorkphish9
Summary: Remus fled in the dark of night, leaving his baby with his mate, never looking back. 17 years later, he returns to find a lot of suprising things like a full grown daughter and a god son he never knew. sorry, summary sucks! RLSS HPDM RWHG & other pairings


I am Remus Michael Lupin. I am 35 years old and I am a werewolf. Yeah, you heard right; I said werewolf. I was bitten when I was a small child after my parents refused to join ranks with Voldemort's Death Eaters. I don't remember much of that terrible night; the only thing that stands out in my mind is the pain. It took medi-wizards several days to heal the bite, but by then the damage was done. It was a long time before my family and I came to terms with what had happened. And despite all the tears my mother cried and angry words my father shouted, the medi-wizards could not cure me. So in the end, my family gave a generous donation to St. Mungo's, a way to keep the doctors there quiet about what had happened.

My parents, while worried about my health, were also worried about my schooling. No school in their right mind would ever unleash me on their students. But finally, when I was twelve, Albus Dumbledore form Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry sent me an owl saying that I was more than welcome to enroll. I was ecstatic to say the least. Even at that young age, I knew that I had been given a miracle of a chance and I was not going to let it go to waste. Never an avid book reader before Hogwarts, once I started I spent most of my time in the library reading and studying, as well has trying to avoid the fact that I did not have any actual friends.

Finding friends was a difficult thing for me, mostly because I was afraid that eventually they would find out about my secret and then leave; as well as being almost painfully shy and withdrawn. But all that changed by the end of my second year when I started going around with three other boys; Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius and James were two of the cleverest wizards in our year and were always a force to be reckoned with when they were angry, bored, happy, tired…Well, basically whenever. Peter was, I admit, a bit slow and I usually ended up helping him with his Charms or DADA assignments.

But all in all, they were my friends, the first I've ever had and really, the only people who liked to hang out with a mousy little know-it-all like me. My life formed itself into two different worlds; my friends and school and then my wolf side. Every full moon, I would sneak out of the castle and then be escorted by the school nurse to the Whomping Willow, which had been planted especially for me. The tree guarded the entrance to a tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack, an abandoned building in the local village of Hogsmeade. As time passed, my friends started to become suspicious of my monthly disappearances; there were only so many times that your parents can become mortally ill and you have to rush home. So one night, unbeknownst to me, Sirius, James, and Peter snuck out after me in James' invisibility cloak and followed me to the Whomping Willow.

The next morning they confronted me and demanded an answer. With great reluctance, I told them my secret, hanging my head low and shutting my eyes tight, expecting a furious diatribe and maybe even a punch or two in the face. When neither of those things happened, I opened an eye cautiously and was shocked to see the three of them still standing there, a little shell shocked I admit, but still standing there. I was even more amazed when they came to the decision to become animagi so that they could join me on my monthly nocturnal adventures. After a few years of hard work, they accomplished what they had set out to do; they had become (illegally) animagi. James and Sirius became a stage and a big shaggy dog, having purposefully chose big animals so that they could control my wolf form if things happened to go wrong; and Peter chose a rat, a creature small enough to evade the Willow's thrashing branches to reach the knot that would freeze the tree. To say the least, I was speechless. I started my education at Hogwarts with no friends and now I had three friends who would willingly break the law, just to keep my company.

Because of them, I started to enjoy my monthly transformations. With James and Sirius there to keep control of wolfish me, we were able to explore the grounds of Hogwarts more thoroughly than any student had ever been able to; we even made a detailed map of the grounds. We called it the Marauder's Map and frequently used it on our non-full moon adventures. Things were going great for me and my friends; we even came up with nicknames, Moony (me), Padfoot (Sirius), Wormtail (Peter), and Prongs (James); Peter never really liked the names, but I thought they were great. After I turned 17 though, things started to go downhill.

I've never understood why, but apparently werewolves, being magical creatures, had life-long mates. Depending on the person in question, there might be a kind of "pull" that would bring the werewolf and their mate together. At least, that's how Dumbledore explained it to me. Another thing he mentioned was that there was no age requirement for "mate searching" or however you'd put it, but usually with bitten children, they would start to feel the "pull" around the age of 17. So there I was, freshly 17 and paranoid that I'd suddenly throw myself at some random student in the name of love. I had no clue how I was supposed to be able to identify my mate; the headmaster had admitted that not many people were too interested in studying the habits of werewolves. I just hoped that when it happened, if it happened, I wouldn't make a fool of myself.

A couple of weeks or so after my fateful discussion with the headmaster, I started to smell the most delicious mixture of incense and (this made me blush embarrassingly when I recognized it) sex. I admit, I have never been privy to those types of activities, but I had interrupted Sirius and his various lovers enough times to recognize it when I smelt it. But whenever I tried to point it out to my friends, they would look at me like I was crazy and asked if I wanted them to take me to the Hospital Wing. Eventually, though, after three days being taunted by the pleasant smell, I put the pieces together and realized that the scent that only I could smell must be coming from my mate. Once I realized this, I was on the look-out, or I guess "smell"-out, for my mate. For reasons I didn't fully understand, I was becoming hopeful and expectant. I was anxious for the one person who was supposed to fulfill me mind, body, and soul. I was brought back down to Earth when, as my friends and I were walking down to the dungeons for Potions, a group of Slytherins passed us in the hall and left behind my mate's scent. During lunch, I told my friends and received bewildered looks.

"I hope for your sake that it isn't a snake," James had said, staring distastefully at the Slytherin table across the Hall.

"Haha, man! That totally rhymed!" Sirius chuckled, lightly punching James in the arm. James had rolled his eyes and punched him back. I was tempted to let them get side-tracked from the previous topic, but I needed to know what was going to happen with my friends.

"What if it is a snake, Prongs?" I had asked, "Are you going to ditch me if it is?"

"Moony, we're not about to ditch you after all we've been through," James had reassured me before going back to his lunch.

"Besides," Sirius had remarked, "I've heard that Slytherins are good in bed!" He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Peter had snickered at the deep blush that burned across my face.

Despite all of my friends' reassurances, I don't think any of us were quite expecting my mate to turn out to be Severus Snape, or "Snivelus" to James and Sirius. It took several weeks for me to convince him of everything that was happening, but thankfully Severus was a very logical person and accepted me as his mate. Unfortunately, it took even longer for my friends to start talking to me again. I understood how they felt and why they were acting this way. A Slytherin would have been mildly tolerable, but Severus Snape? Unacceptable. After hours of brilliant and logical defenses I made for myself, or maybe it was just the pathetic sight of me slowly losing it without my friends, they began to talk to me again. They understood that I had no control over who my mate was and that despite the relationship I had had with Severus before, it was all going to change now.

We began to hang out again, with a tentative truce between my friends and my mate. It wasn't the more perfect of situations, but it worked. That is, until the end of 7th year and graduation. A few months after I had left Hogwarts, I discovered that I was pregnant. Soon after that, the Ministry decreed that any half-breeds born that year or any year after would be forcibly aborted. To save my mate from any trouble with the Ministry, I didn't tell him about our baby, and fled in the middle of the night. I haven't seen him since.

Regrettably, the rest of my story will have to wait till later, when I have more time to think. You see, I'm once again back at Hogwarts, seventeen years after I left, waiting patiently for Albus Dumbledore to join me in his office. I had received an owl from the headmaster a month earlier, offering me a chance to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts with my old friend Sirius. I was seated in a comfy plush chair, but my back was ramrod straight. Every nerve in my body was jumping, not allowing me to relax for even a second.

Why was I so nervous, you ask? Well, after some serious thought, I agreed to let the old headmaster reunite me with my mate. It had been so long since I had seen him, and I had left him suddenly with no explanation. The last contact I had had with him was indirectly when I left my newborn baby on his doorstep. I had explained my reasons for leaving our baby there and why I couldn't come back in a letter, but I hadn't received any response back I have no idea how my mate will react to seeing me now so suddenly. I can only hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

My thoughts broke off when I heard voices on the other side of the mahogany door. My hands gripped the chair arms tightly as I watched the doorknob turn slowly and the door open to reveal Albus Dumbledore standing in the door way, his head turned back over his shoulder.

"I am glad you were able to come up, Severus," Albus was saying to the man behind him.

"Make it quick, Albus," a stern voice said. Even though I couldn't see him, I jumped at the sound of my mate's voice. "I have a class in 15 minutes and I still have things to set up."

Albus walked in and sat behind his desk, beckoning the Potions Master in with a gesture of his hand. Severus stepped in, his eyes focused on the headmaster; which meant that he still hadn't noticed me. I fought back the irrational urge to wave my arms in the air to catch his attention; I knew it would be on me soon enough.

"Oh," Albus said calmly, his blue eyes twinkling. "I'm sure it will only take a moment. I just wanted to introduce you to our new teacher. He has gladly accepted to co-teach Defense Against the Dark Arts with Sirius."

My heart seemed to stop as Albus motioned in the direction of my chair. Severus turned around, a wary look on his face that was quickly replaced by confusion. That didn't last long, as his eyebrows rose up and his mouth opened in an "O" of shock. My golden eyes locked with his black ones and it felt like I couldn't breathe.

"R-Remus?" My mate asked in a strangled voice.

"Hi, Severus. Miss me?"


End file.
